Lost Crossovers: INFERIOR FIVE #10

This issue of INFERIOR FIVE doesn’t contain a literal crossover at all. It was a parody comic in the same sort of vein as Marvel’s NOT BRAND ECHH, albeit with a series of continuing characters. But the depictions of the Marvel characters being parodied in this one are so thin that I think an argument could be made for its inclusion in this section. I mean, look at that cover. There isn’t anything in the slightest to indicate that that isn’t the genuine Spider-Man and Fantastic Four who have been defeated. If you saw this on a newsstand, you’d take it completely at face value. (You can see where the Q insignia has been removed in the line art from the Reed Richards knock-off, presumably because somebody got cold feet on being quite so close on the cover. But the color plates weren’t similarly altered, leaving that white outline of what was intended to go there.) I’m told as well that Neal Adams inked or redrew the Superman figure on this cover.

The Inferior Five were created by E. Nelson Bridwell, a very smart, very well-read fan-turned-pro who had some personal problems and wasn’t always accorded the respect his many talents deserved. As initially conceived, the strip was going to be called the Inferior Four and would have been a pointed barb aimed specifically at the upstart Marvel heroes. But cooler heads prevailed. This issue, #10, is the final one in the run (though the title was briefly resurrected in the early 1970s for a pair of reprint issues) its central premise of being about a goofball band of lousy super heroes often interacting with parodies of both the heroes of DC and other companies failing to sustain enough of an audience. A lot of the humor in INFERIOR FIVE was of its time and hasn’t aged well. But it remains a fondly-recalled series for fans who experienced it firsthand during its initial run.

This particular story was apparently plotted by Bridwell but wound up being scripted by Howie Post, a longtime contributor to Harvey Comics who had started doing some work for DC around this time, notably ANTHRO. It was drawn by Win Mortimer and inked by Tex Blaisdell. And it opens with the arrival of a flying saucer from outer space. Meanwhile, the Inferior Five are comparing notes after their latest botched heroic outing. They realize that they need to engage in more training to improve their super-skills, a program they embark upon for a couple of pages. But then a worldwide alert goes out concerning the alien invaders–one that is heard by not just the Inferior Five themselves, but also Superman (who is off on one of his frequent “space missions”), the Kookie Quartet (alternately referred to elsewhere as the Whatchamacallit Four), the Sub-Moron and the Cobweb Kid. All of these heroes wind up converging on the problem with the exception of Superman, who has his hands full at the moment.

All at once, the heroes converge on the invading aliens. But this goes about as well as you’d imagine. Of some note is the fact that the story never bothers to name either the Ben Grimm or Sue Storm characters, whereas Reed is referred to as Mr. Manplastic and Johnny is the Matchstick Kid–DC had a strange obsession with labeling any teenage characters as boy or kid, and that carried over here. Perhaps that was the joke.

Anyway, as you’d expect, most of the remainder of this story is a succession of gags about combatting the aliens. The fight-hungry Thing surrogate charges at them, but winds up sneezing himself to pieces. The Inferior Five attempt to piece him back together, but with mixed results.

The Sub-Moron has in the meantime dried out and is in desperate need of renewed contact with water. At Dumb Bunny’s direction, he races into the warehouse of a nearby distillery and immerses himself in whisky. This restores his constitution but makes him roaringly drunk, and he’s pretty much out of the fight after that.

The Matchstick Kid is up next, but the aliens promptly put out his flames, causing him to be drawn in his usual fiery state but in purple and without any flame-licks. Despite his best efforts, he can’t get fiery again. Then it’s time for the Cobweb Kid to join in the fray. He leaps into action but is similarly zapped by the aliens’ mesmeric powers and winds up climbing a nearby wall, eating a bunch of flies and building himself a web to rest in. So he’s down. too.

With their forces dwindling, Mr. Manplastic decides it’s time to employ an old tactic but a goodie: The Old Plastic Bag Trick! In essence, Manplastic expands himself into a huge plastic sheet and entangles the entire alien army. Seeing an opportunity to strike, the Inferior Five proceed to pummel the aliens through Manplastic’s rubbery form, hurting him far more than their actual foes.

Left to fend for themselves, the Inferior Five are swiftly overcome by the aliens, who proceed to march their troops through the streets. With all of Earth’s super heroes having fallen, their conquest is assured. But wait a minute–what about Superman? Turns out that the Man of Steel is finished with his space errand and returns in time to sweep up the aliens in a vacuum created by flying past them at super-speed, deposit them back into their flying saucer, and kick them off the Earth for good. Now, this isn’t a parody version, this is presented as the genuine Superman here–which makes the involvement of the Marvel heroes a bit more interesting somehow.

With that, the adventure is over–and the Inferior Five’s reputation is worse than ever. What’s more, as they walk off into the sunset and out of the story, we see the assembled Marvel parody heroes waiting behind a corner in the distance to jump the I5 and tar and feather them for how they fouled up their heroics. So it’s a strange issue all around, not especially funny but noteworthy for just how thin a coat of parody the Marvel characters were presented under. I wonder if this story might have been seen as retaliation for the Stuporman parody story that Marvel ran in NOT BRAND ECHH #7 a few months earlier.